The Teenage Eyeroll

Wednesday September 10, 2014 

I saw it about four times today while I was shopping—the teenage eyeroll. 

I’ve been the recipient of it, too and, surprisingly, it was in the same context I saw it today.

Mom, holding her phone, asks the son a question.

He responds, pointing quickly at buttons on the phone.

She looks at him, puzzled, and opens her mouth to ask another question.

Then…wait for it—the eyeroll. 

It happens as he reaches for her cell phone with a sigh that says, “I’ll just do it myself.”

For a while, I just put up with the eyeroll. But it was strange; all of a sudden, I felt our roles reverse. My mind went back to the preschool years. I went through all the mental images and stories in my mind, searching for Mom in the midst of an eyeroll.

Nope. Nothing. 

So as my son reached for my phone (or laptop or mp3 player), I looked at him and said, “Look, I really appreciate your help. I’m just learning this thing and I do want to learn it. But I don’t appreciate your attitude when I ask for help.”

Another slight eyeroll and the shake of his head.

“Sorry, Mom,” he said reluctantly.

“No, wait a minute," I continued. "You know, when you were learning your ABCs, I don’t recall ever ripping the pencil from your hand, rolling my eyes, and saying, ‘Oh, just let me do it.’ Do you?”

He grinned. A little.

“If I had, would you ever have learned to write yourself? So let me learn.”

Now he smiled a real smile. “Okay, Mom. I get it.”

Lessons in respect don’t stop when they’re teens.

Sometimes we have to reinforce daily, in small ways. 
And without eyerolls.

Toddler Rules: Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday

October 24, 2011

I’ve been thinking about writing a post about toddlers and teens because when you think about it, they’re similar in a lot of ways.

But I was unprepared for the revelation my ego received in church this morning. The pastor said, “Many Christians are still playing the game of life by toddler rules.”

Hmm…a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Ouch.

In Acts 4:32-37, we read of a time when “all the believers were one in heart and mind.” They shared everything; they sold land and brought the money to those who needed it. It’s a beautiful picture.

This story has important lessons in the context of radical giving, but it spoke clearly to me this morning about radical living.

But there are those “toddler rules” that often get in the way. Here’s one.

Who’s in charge? (Toddlers answer, “I’m in charge.”)

Yes, unfortunately, that’s often me. I mistakenly think I’m in charge of my life. (Mary Engelbreit’s Queen of Everything comes to mind.) And if I’m in charge, then I make all these decisions about how to live my life with my own “wisdom.”

How did the believers in Acts avoid the “I’m in charge” mentality? Reading the passage leading up to verse 32 yields an answer. Look at what they did. First they prayed and, in Acts 4:24, they acknowledged that absolutely everything came from Him. Then they asked for boldness, and they got it.

Another “toddler rule” that gets in the way?

What will I get out of it?

How often do I give – just give – out of love and thankfulness? Undeservedly, to the biggest rascal or offender, with joy? (Paul really steps on my toes here…)

How did the Christ followers in Acts avoid getting caught in the “what’s in it for me” trap? Again, look where they started – with Him. First, they acknowledged Him as the source of all things. It’s Him that matters. And if He has it all and loves us, can’t we trust that He’ll give what we need when we need it?

So I back up to Acts 4:23 again and realize that this wonderful prayer that attributes everything to God came on the heels of Peter and John being hauled before the Sanhedrin. They were commanded not to speak in Christ’s name; they were threatened. They were mistreated.

So what did they do? They prayed and gave Him the glory for all—good and bad, big and small.

November is coming, and I have gratitude on the mind. My goal? Gratitude through it all.

So maybe I can leave those toddler rules behind. With His help.

Will you join me on my gratitude quest in November?

Linking up today with Michelle at Graceful for Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday. Click on over and come along with us!