The Teenage Eyeroll

Wednesday September 10, 2014 

I saw it about four times today while I was shopping—the teenage eyeroll. 

I’ve been the recipient of it, too and, surprisingly, it was in the same context I saw it today.

Mom, holding her phone, asks the son a question.

He responds, pointing quickly at buttons on the phone.

She looks at him, puzzled, and opens her mouth to ask another question.

Then…wait for it—the eyeroll. 

It happens as he reaches for her cell phone with a sigh that says, “I’ll just do it myself.”

For a while, I just put up with the eyeroll. But it was strange; all of a sudden, I felt our roles reverse. My mind went back to the preschool years. I went through all the mental images and stories in my mind, searching for Mom in the midst of an eyeroll.

Nope. Nothing. 

So as my son reached for my phone (or laptop or mp3 player), I looked at him and said, “Look, I really appreciate your help. I’m just learning this thing and I do want to learn it. But I don’t appreciate your attitude when I ask for help.”

Another slight eyeroll and the shake of his head.

“Sorry, Mom,” he said reluctantly.

“No, wait a minute," I continued. "You know, when you were learning your ABCs, I don’t recall ever ripping the pencil from your hand, rolling my eyes, and saying, ‘Oh, just let me do it.’ Do you?”

He grinned. A little.

“If I had, would you ever have learned to write yourself? So let me learn.”

Now he smiled a real smile. “Okay, Mom. I get it.”

Lessons in respect don’t stop when they’re teens.

Sometimes we have to reinforce daily, in small ways. 
And without eyerolls.

God of the Unexpected

Wednesday July 24, 2013

Remember those days?


Or are you in the midst of them?

Toys everywhere, a bit of chaos in the air.


We don't have to be young moms to find ourselves facing the unexpected, though.

We may face different challenges, but I'm thinking we all need a dose of hope.

I'm honored to guest post today over at Heather's place.

Come on over and read about the God of the unexpected...and the hope we can find in Him.

You know you're a mom when...

Sunday October 9, 2011
You know you're a mom when... you get choked up at the deli counter because Blazin' Buffalo Chicken is on sale. (It's College Boy's favorite.)

What about you?
Do you have one of those "you know you're a mom when" experiences to share?

This craziness will pass...

Tuesday April 26, 2011


I’ve come to a conclusion.

Yes, this craziness will pass, but more craziness will come into play.

Does that sound disheartening? I don’t mean for it to. It’s just the way of things. When my boys were 3 months, 3, 6, and 9, life was crazy. Oh, yes – certifiably so!

Fast forward a couple of years. Still crazy. Fast forward again…yes. Still crazy.

It’s the way life is with boys (especially four of them), with children, with a family of six. But it’s such a happy, creative crazy!

We can spend our mom lives wishing away the crazy, or we can relish it. I choose to relish.

Let’s face it, though – too much of anything is hard. So how to survive the craziness?

Carve out small pauses for yourself.

We all need that breath, that chance to think, regroup. When I don’t have that, it becomes pretty obvious. So, how can you find some relief from the craziness?

First, if you need help, tell someone! Don’t keep it to yourself. Who are we fooling? Our own sense of perfectionism only leads to disappointment and guilt.

Success doesn’t hinge on getting everything right. Instead, success has to do with how you handle getting things wrong. Seeing you work through a tough problem, through times when the pace of life is dizzying, is a lesson for your kids. Ask for help – from your hubby, from a friend, from someone.

Second, listen to others. Blog friends, friends you can reach out and touch, family. How have they dealt? Get ideas.

Third, join in. Sometimes life feels crazy because there’s no relief valve. We’re preoccupied with the laundry, the bills, the homework, the cleaning – and we just need to blow off some steam. Jump in the sprinkler with your kids. Blow bubbles. Sit down and color with them, write a poem with them, create a family work of art.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to listen, or just to jump in.

Call on each other.

And don’t forget to look up.

Linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven Today for Soli deo Gloria. Click on over and come along with us!

My Journey This Week

Friday April 22, 2011

My usual Friday fare is Friday's Fave Five, but today is a variation. Susanne, our FFF host, is taking a break this week. But I can't wait till next Friday to share blessings! They were catalogued in my head before I read about Susanne's sabbatical, so I'm linking up with Jennifer Davis's Journeys today to share about my journey this week. Won't you come along?

This week's journey has made me thankful for:

1. A hubby at home. Mine was gone for an entire week, and it was far too quiet around here! Oh, it was great to have some writing time and try to get ahead in school stuff, but I missed him so. It's great to have him back by my side.

2. Ages and stages. As I watch my sons maneuver through the ages and stages of life, I'm so thankful for those new lessons, new experiences. It's so neat to see them grow and learn, make choices, even lead. One of my boys had two interviews for teaching positions (he graduates in May) last week and another is making his first family big move to his first pastorate. It's all so exciting.

3. New goals. My writing buddies, Kindred Heart Writers, tease me about the "g word." I have a hard time setting goals sometimes, at least from August to May. When I'm teaching, it's hard to see past the school clutter (as beloved as it is) to my writing life (as much as I adore it)! I'm trying to figure out why the Lord has placed me here with a foot in each world...but for now, I'll just keep seeking Him and do my best in both places. But with summer coming on, I'm beginning to see my way clear to set some new writing goals. And that's exciting. (Visit Kindred Heart Writers here sometime -- we're finally back after about 2 weeks on a Photobucket-imposed hiatus! I'll be writing about my writing goals there.)

4. Relationships. When I write my Friday's Fave Five, I often find myself thankful for the people I teach alongside. They're such blessings. But this week, I found myself thinking, "Wonder how that doctor appointment went?" or "She hasn't posted in a while -- wonder if anything is wrong" or "I've got to get to know this one better -- what a blessing!" Who was I thinking about? My blog friends! I'm so thankful for the relationships this writing / blogging thing has brought to me.

5. This season, this quote. I often end with a quote, but this is more than a quote; it's the Word of God.

"He is not here; He has risen, just as He said" (Matthew 28:6).

All the joy, all the hope, all the victory of my life stems from these words.

He is not here; He has conquered death.
He has risen; His power over life and death is clear.
Just as He said; His words are true, now and forever.

Happy Resurrection Weekend to you. Enjoy this next week's journey.

I Wanted to Simplify

Tuesday April 12, 2011

I wanted to simplify. Desperately.

But that was the week that was – it wasn’t the week to expect simple.

Oh, how I longed to turn everything off and sit. Rest, bask in my loved one’s love and in the presence of the Father.

But, no. Not last week. It wasn’t going to happen. Long-time commitments shoved those desires aside, for me and for my husband.

So, what did I do? I stilled long enough to remember the lesson. It wasn’t learned easily; after years of an often hustle-bustle life and plenty of weeks like last one, we figured out how to make it through.

We hang on. And we talk about it.

Instead of fretting over what we both know we can’t change, we spend time saying, “Won’t it be nice to just sit at home – together?” We don’t just think it, we spend time saying it. And across the time divide, there are stolen hugs and kisses, reminding us who’s waiting.

There are those seasons in life that are unavoidably busy, hectic, and frustrating. Moving season, filled with boxes and chaos. Tax seasons for accountants. Big family celebration times for moms who plan them. Play seasons for drama teachers.

You can stew and fret through those times or you can hang on and remind yourself – and your loved ones – of what’s really important. And when we did the latter, a funny thing happened. I knew I missed him, but I just figured he was too busy to miss me! It was really nice to know I was missed, heartwarming even.

I hang on to the memory of slower, calmer times and the promise of future ones, but I mostly hang on to the One who is the strength of my heart. Because Psalms 73:26 reminds me, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

He’s the strength of my heart and my portion – my “enough” – through the calm and chaos of life.

Linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven Today for Soli deo Gloria. Click on over and come along with us!

Moms and Teens

Wednesday March 3, 2011

I sat with a dear friend the other day who said, “He is SUCH a preteen.”

She went on to say, “He rolls his eyes. At everything.”

I felt her pain. I’ve been there, oh so many times.

And I live to tell.

She’s doing so much right, though. Loving her boy, encouraging him, yet holding him accountable.

I thought of a few things that might help her – and you, if you find yourself in the same spot.

1. Pick your battles.
This is hard. But you have to remember, there will be bigger battles than whether or not he wears that today. Save your big guns for the big battles.

2. Say “yes” as much as you can. (Maybe not an enthusiastic yes, but at least not a “no.”)
Again, this is like picking your battles. You’ll have to concede some ground because he’s establishing himself. Yes, you’ll have to let go a bit. Loosen your grip. Instead of saying, “Do this” or “Wear this,” give him a range of acceptable choices and let him pick.

3. Keep, keep, keep on loving him – and let him know, even if you think he doesn’t care. A secret? He does. He wants to know if you’ll love him when he stinks, when he’s unlovely, when he rolls those eyes.

4. Know that this, too, will pass.

I read the post of another friend this week who told of her date with her 5 year old. It seems his younger sister requires a bit more of Mom, so she gets a bit more of Mom. I know that scenario, too. I’ve had to remind myself to praise the one who is always doing a good job because, well, he’s always doing a good job and doesn’t seem to need it. But he does.

Anyway, the story of this preschool mother and son reminded me of something very important, and it leads to #5.

5. Make deposits in the time bank now; you’ll draw on them later. If you have a child who’s years from a teen, do as my friend did – take him or her out for some special one-on-one time. Those times really do serve as deposits in your relationship; you’ll be drawing on those later, in harder times. The memories will be there for both of you, and they’ll draw you closer.

Mothers of teens and preteens, hang on. There are some great things about those times – look for them.

What about you? Do you remember wise things your parents did when you were teens or can you lend some advice to other mothers of teens out there? Chime in!

Flying: The Agony and the Ecstasy

Wednesday February 23, 2011

It's ludicrous.

We awake before the crack of dawn so we can stand in lines.

We stuff everything we can into one bag, and then we get to pay for its trip, too. After standing in that line, we find the bag is overweight, so we get to pay more. Or maybe we unpack in front of the world and tote flat irons and shoes and books in our already stuffed carry-on.

Then we remove our shoes, our jackets, our belts, our dignity. And we pay big bucks for this.

We strap ourselves into a large tin can and are hurtled through the clouds, enduring ear-popping, unbelievably close quarters, and substandard (if any) snacks. And we pay big bucks for this.

At our destination we wait yet again for the last bag to reach the carousel. (A misnomer, I’ve always thought. Where are the balloons and cotton candy when you need them? You’d think for the big bucks we shell out, there’s at least be a balloon or two near the “carousel.”)

All told, it seems ludicrous.

But then, there’s the payoff. The ecstasy that makes the agony worthwhile.

Forget that part about the big bucks.

This is priceless.

Faithful

Tuesday February 15, 2010


My baby enters his last teenage year today.

I texted him a Happy Birthday message early this morning, standing next to the couch that I practically lived on after his emergency c-section.

He was fine, I was fine, but I was bluer after him than I had been with any of the other boys. Part of it was the fact that this was the end of the line. I couldn’t help lamenting that I wouldn’t do this again.

It didn’t last long, but I do remember the desperate feeling of not being able to pull myself out. I remember my mother’s sage advice: Honey, you have to enjoy today, right now, with this little one. Don’t miss this time with him.

And I remember asking my husband to ask one of our pastor friends to pray for me. When I relive that moment, I can hear the plea in my voice: Tell Eric to pray for me – really pray for me, okay?

I don’t remember an “aha” moment or anything. I can’t recall suddenly waking up with a smile on my face. But ever-so-gradually, my spirit awakened.

A lot of life has been like that for me, looking back. It hasn’t been filled with marching bands and lightning strikes, but warmth and a steady faithfulness.

I read this again this morning, and it really resonated in my spirit:

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22,23)

When I think of my last teenager in his last adolescent year, I get a lump in my throat. But then I remember – His mercies are new every morning. And He is faithful.

P.S. Happy birthday, boy!

Linking up today with Jen.


How about you? How has His faithfulness helped you along?

Commitment isn't enough

Thursday February 10, 2010

If you had asked, all those many years ago when we got married, if we were committed to this relationship, we would have readily answered “Yes.” After all, it’s not hard to be committed to a marriage when you’re head-over-heels in love and there’s no one to think about but each other.

Fast forward, many years (and four kids) later. The answer to that commitment question remains the same, but much has changed. The addition of four little lives to ours has undoubtedly altered our world. We can’t imagine life without those four awesome boys! Our lives have also been affected by jobs and just the general busyness of life, but the answer to that commitment question remains the same.

But we’ve decided commitment isn’t enough.

You know, we strive for excellence in all we do – doing the best at our jobs, being the best we can be.

But in our marriages? Not so much. We just let them happen.

Many of us rely on that rock-solid commitment to pull us through. I’m glad it’s there, but we’ve decided we want more. Think about it – a rock isn’t a very emotionally satisfying metaphor, is it?

Sometimes the marriage garden needs tending, and I’m not talking about adding rocks. Sometimes it cries out for time, sometimes for pruning. Sometimes it needs a bit of zest – some fertilizer – or more sunshine. Sometimes it just needs to be pampered and enjoyed and admired.

So we’re working on it, and we’re having a great time doing it. The garden will be lined with rock-solid commitment, but our goal is to make it overflow with love and time and respect and joy – all those things that put us head-over-heels in the first place.

Linking up with Bonnie today for What I Wish I'd Known About Marriage, part of her Unwrapping Love series.

I Wish I Had ...

Monday October 25, 2010

Have you ever said, “I wish I had…”?

I’m guessing most of us have.

It may not be too late! What you wish you’d done the first time, you can try the second time … or the third … or the fourth.

And if it’s too late to implement some mom strategy, maybe your words can help another mom along.

What do I wish I had done differently? Two things – and they both revolve around the family dinner table.

We guarded dinner together jealously, and we usually succeeded in having some great family times. But I wish I had introduced my boys to fancy family dinners once in a while.

When I was a kid, my mom used the china and crystal every Sunday. I wish I’d had the nerve to try that with my boys! We made Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter special, but I would have enjoyed doing that on a more regular basis.

And the other? I wish I had let them cook – taught them, encouraged them to cook. I often talked jokingly about assigning a day to Dad and the boys, and I wish I had. It would have given me a break and would have been great practice for them, too.

What about you? What do you wish you had done differently – or plan to do differently in the future?

We Walk This Way But Once

Monday October 4, 2010

We walk through colicky nights, potty training, teen angst. Only once?

Yes, I’ve had four sons. And I walked those paths over and again, but not once was the path identical.

Sometimes I wished for a matching trail. If I could have duplicated my first compliant two-year-old, life would have been easier.

Other times I prayed for a distinctly different route – as I walked the floor with my first (oh-so-colicky) son.

But each time, each stage, each child – something was different.

Sometimes it was the child. I tried what worked with #1 to no avail with #2. Different child, different path.

Sometimes it was the trail. There were factors and issues surrounding me and my child that weren’t the same.

And sometimes it was me.
I had more experience – or less. I second-guessed myself more – or less.

And sometimes I had learned. From my experiences and from others.

So if you’re a mom who’s on a smooth path right now – enjoy it. Learn from it. Bank up those experiences.

If you’re a mom who’s climbing hand-over-hand up a rocky path as we speak, just hang on. Don’t give up. Once you reach the next bend, things may just even out. And your next child could be a piece of cake at this stage.

Most of all, no matter what the trail is like for you right now, find a way to enjoy it. Celebrate its difference; savor its similarity.

And reach back to help another mom along the way.

Have you seen differences in your path? (My colicky infant was a compliant two-year-old; his next brother was an angel baby who turned into a headstrong toddler.) Is there a stage you worry about facing?

How did you cope? Was there a helping hand for you along the way?

Words To Start Your Week

Monday September 27, 2010

"Lay hold of something that will help you,
and then use it to help somebody else."

Booker T. Washington

Remember a time you needed encouragement and found just the right word?
Pass it on.

Take a look around. See a mom who needs encouragement or just a smile and a kind word? You know, the little nod that says, "I've been there" and implies, "You'll make it through, too."

Sometimes it's just listening that means the world to an outnumbered mom. She doesn't expect you to have all the answers -- she just wants to know that someone cares enough to listen.

It's amazing what a little compassion can do -- both for the giver and the receiver.

Give it a try this week.

A Defining Moment

Monday September 20, 2010

My first boy was two weeks old, and we found ourselves in the pediatrician office for yet another weight check.

We were faced with a tough choice. No, it wasn’t a life-or-death decision, but it was huge for me and, because it was so important to me, it loomed large for my husband, too.

The doctor’s news was disappointing, and his suggestion wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

My husband’s response was stellar. It was a real defining moment for his dadhood and, actually, for our relationship.

My dear husband looked deep into my eyes and said, “Honey, I know this seems like everything right now. But when you consider the spectrum of our life with this boy – eighteen years or more – this is just a microcosm of our time with him.”

Wise words from Dad put everything in perspective for me. I’ll never forget it.

What about you?

Has the Dad in your household had one of those defining moments that helped put things in perspective?

Thoughts to Help You Through the Week

Monday September 13, 2010


There’s a truth you need to know, Mom. You need to repeat it, believe it, and let it permeate your heart.

You’re important – valuable and significant.

You mean so much to the life of your family. Think of all you do for the family – it’s not hard! We make a list of these things in our heads when we feel underappreciated.

But there’s more to mothering than laundry and loading the dishwasher:

You help mend broken hearts and wounded feelings.
You teach conflict resolution.
You encourage, cheer, lift up.
You introduce little hearts and minds to the wonder of life.
You love, even in the face of rolled eyes or constant bickering.

At this point, you may be thinking, “Oh, I usually do, but I really blew that one today.”

Who doesn’t? Which leads me to the other thought you need to make yours today.

It doesn’t all hinge on you.

Yes, you’re valued – in fact, invaluable to your child’s heart. But all of his or her life does not hinge on you. There are – and will be – other influences in your child’s life that will make a big impression. And that’s good. In His grace, God has provided for our kids. But you’re not the sole provision.

So don’t try to be it all, do it all. At first you have to provide so much for a helpless little one, but even then – let Dad do what he can do. As your son or daughter grows, lead and guide and finally, assume the role of coach – not actually in the game, but cheering and supporting and helping with the game plan at times. You can take on that coach role someday only if you’ve stepped back little by little along the way.

Loosen your grip. Let him try. He may fail, but he’ll learn. You’ll be there, cheering him on. Someone else may lend the first hand to help him up at times, but that’s okay. And sometimes, he’ll get up on his own. But he’ll turn and look for your affirming smile.

Remember this week – you are oh-so-valuable. But the good news is, it doesn’t all hinge on you.

So little by little, loosen your grip.

Do you struggle with being everything for your child? How do you find the strength to let go?

Learning From Our Children

Monday June 14, 2010

The teacher (and multi-tasker) in me is always looking for a lesson.

But once we’re in the “mom mode,” we often miss life’s daily lessons.

We’re in the zone – with laundry to do, bandaids to apply, tears to wipe, fights to settle. Blinded by the banal, we miss the profound lessons our kids have for us.

It’s easy to see how these apply to our children. Take a moment to consider how they can apply to you, Mom.

Our infants remind us:

Be real! Cry if you need something and laugh if something tickles your fancy.

Trust the One who’s holding you.

Toddlers and preschoolers encourage us to:

Never stop asking questions.

You may feel bad about taking a nap, but in the end it’s a good thing.

Elementary-age children prompt us to remember:

Everybody should read under the covers with a flashlight once in a while.

Pre-teens?

It really IS what’s on the inside that’s important.

Teens:

“As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
Be careful who (and what) you spend time with.

So, look around, Mom, and then look in the mirror. Take a moment to remind yourself to:

Be real.
Trust God.
Keep asking questions.
Nap once in awhile.
Enjoy a good book.
Look past the mirror.
Surround yourself with people who encourage you.

What have your kids taught you lately?

A Chevy By Another Other Name...

Saturday June 12, 2010
You’ve probably seen the recent headlines.

GM Memo Urges Dumping Chevrolet’s “Chevy” Nickname

Chevrolet Backpedals on Dumping Chevy Nickname

The Name is Chevrolet, Not Chevy. Er, Never Mind

It seems Chevrolet has changed their corporate mind about their name. Again. Known for years as Chevy, they’ve decided to hang on to the nickname since we all love it so.

All of the flap calls to mind Shakespeare’s words: “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

No matter what you call it, it’s still a rose. Or a Chevy. Or a mom.

First we were just cooed at; then they called us Mama. Soon they graduated to Mommy, and before you know it, it’ll be Mom.

And Mom it will be, till we’re gone from this earth.

Once a mom, always a mom, I say.

No matter how big they get or how far away they roam (literally or figuratively), we’re always moms.

And our sisterhood is huge. In the woods a couple of weeks ago, I looked up at the canopy of leaves and in the myriad of different sizes and shapes of leaves, I saw unity and diversity. Just like us moms. Yes, we're different -- some work away from home, some work at home; some homeschool, some teach others' children; some have toddlers, some have teens. But we share much more than we realize. Dreams fulfilled and unrealized, tears of joy and sadness, smiles of regret and pride.

So, share away.
Reach out. Lift up. Encourage.

Remember, no mom is an island.

And a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Handful of Blueberries, Heart Full of Love

I chuckled as I watched the chubby little hands pry open the blueberry container, moving quickly to try to forestall the flood of blueberries. No such luck. Little hands were faster than mine – in fact, faster than three adults right there in the kitchen.

I had spent the afternoon grocery shopping with an incredible mom. We brought in the groceries and chaos ensued. Lucy was an “instant” mom, going from no children to three overnight. She and her husband had no children, but had huge hearts and plenty of room and love to spare. They agreed to foster three brothers – all of them, a package deal. They had hopes for adoption, but had been told that there was no assurance of this. The boys might become available for adoption, and they might not. Knowing this, Lucy and her hubby pledged to throw themselves into these kids’ lives, come what may. From the beginning she said to me, “We want to minister to this family, for however long we can.”

I visited at the end of the second week with the boys. They had quickly captured their foster parents’ hearts, and stole mine in one afternoon. The baby was under 1, and there was a toddler and a first-grader. All beautiful boys, sweet and loving. They had a few bugaboos, of course – but that was to be expected in their situation.

Remember when your little one began attending day care or preschool? They brought home every bug, every virus known to man. That’s what happened next for my mom-friend. Her husband caught everything the boys brought home, too, so she dealt with infant nebulizers and antibiotics, often by herself. Lucy is a professional who works 9 to 5, so she had a life and a job to try to maintain. But she and her hubby were sold out to those boys. They became education advocates, child psychologists, and experts in foster system; but most of all, they became Mommy and Daddy.

There were rough patches, of course – smiles and tears. So many ups and downs, but love, love, love invaded that household.

Their hopes for adoption were dashed awhile back, and the realization that their time with these sweet boys would soon be over set in. I met her for lunch was amazed at her balance.

Still in love with those little guys, she faced the facts. Lucy could see the rainbow through the rain. They set out to minister to this family, and they have.

Now their house is quiet – too quiet. Husband and wife are getting reacquainted, and they’re getting a bit of sleep nowadays. And the future? They’re thinking and praying about pursuing adoption.

“One little infant will be a walk in the park after this, Lucy!” I told her. “You won’t know what to do with your time.”

Their faith is strong. They know they were led to play a part in those little boys’ lives for a time and they’re open to what the Lord has for them next.

She’s a mother like no other I’ve ever met. I’ll never look at a package of blueberries again without recalling her heart full of love for three little boys who needed her.

My First Mother's Day: Lessons Learned

Saturday May 8, 2010
I was exhausted, but happy. I wore the babe in my arms like a badge of honor. I’d made it through a little over three months of motherhood with a colicky little boy.

The doctor said he’d show some improvement at about three months, and that he had. He cried less, smiled more, relaxed a bit. I still worried inside that he’d never be a truly happy child. (Silly me!)

We sat in Steak and Ale enjoying a Mother’s Day Lunch. He slept, he fidgeted, he woke, he fussed – and I held him. One arm full of sweet baby boy and a fork in the other, balancing motherhood with sustenance.

Dad offered to hold him, to calm him, to give me a break. But I worried that he’d fuss; I said, “No, he’s fine.” I think I felt I held the magic, that only I could soothe him. Dad wasn’t with him every day, all day. He didn’t know all the little tricks I knew.

After all, I was Mom; I was supposed to know how to calm and soothe my son. It rested on me, didn’t it?

I can still close my eyes and see that day, that room, that sweet babe. Feel the weight of him in my arms, the ache between the shoulders that holding him so long brought. Even now, a knot rises to my throat as I think of his sweet baby scent and those clear, bright eyes, the precious smile he bestowed more every day.

The lessons? They took years of boys to learn. Perhaps I knew them with my head at the time, but my mom heart was so overpowering that I listened to its beat.

I held no magic other than the usual mom magic, and I wasn’t the only one who could bring peace to my child. And it didn’t all rest on me.

Their dad, first of all, was – and is – more than able to teach and guide and console. In a way, I suppose this post is a precursor to Father’s Day. Without my dear husband, what kind of mom would I be?

I look back and see the village that brought love and learning and comfort to my boys, and I’m thankful. So often in those early days, I thought it all rested on me, that I could and should control so much. I still do that at times, when I’m spending too much time looking in the mirror and not enough time looking toward the One who loves me – and them.

When I gaze on Him, my heart can rest. I’m reminded it’s not all up to me, for there’s One who loves my sons with an even greater love.

Mothers of Infants and Toddlers: Check Out Baby Sign Language

Monday April 12, 2010

In my travels across the blogosphere, I came upon a really neat blog. I immediately thought of those of you who are mothering infants and toddlers right now.

Several years ago I watched a friend of mine use baby sign language with her infant, and I thought it was the neatest thing! As an English teacher, anything that gets children thinking about and using words earlier has to be a good thing.

When I stumbled upon Elizabeth’s blog, I was fascinated. She’s the mother of three boys, so I felt an instant bond! What follows is an interview with Elizabeth, so sit back and get to know her -- then visit her blog.(There are some great links in this interview, too -- and a free offer at the end!)

Me: How did you first get interested in baby signing?

Elizabeth: Being born deaf in one ear, I had an early interest in learning ASL (American Sign Language.) My mother also had an in-home daycare where she used Sign Language with the babies in her care. I knew I would sign with my babies one day.

Me: Did you take specific training for it? Can a mom just learn it from a book or video?

Elizabeth: I took a few ASL classes and did some studying on my own. I taught all three of my boys. Then I completed the Baby Signs Program Certification Training in 2009 and started teaching. The Baby Signs Program has some great resources to help parents get started. I started with the Baby Signs Starter Kit.

Me: I think anything that encourages communication and word recognition is great, but what are some of the other benefits of baby signing?

Elizabeth: Here are some:

*Reduces tantrums and frustrations
*Makes learning to talk easier
*Boosts self-esteem and self confidence
*Stimulates intellectual, social and emotional development
*Helps strengthen the parent-child bond
*Helps increase IQ (an average of 12 points by age 8!)
*Can help you potty train your child before the age of two

You can read more about the benefits of Baby Sign Language here.

Me: How is Baby Sign Language different from ASL?

Elizabeth: I teach the Baby Signs Program. We use about 90% ASL signs and the other 10% are “baby friendly” signs. Some ASL signs can be difficult for young babies or toddlers to make so we have easier versions. This program focuses on using Sign Language to bridge the communication gap between 6 months and 2 years, and it also serves as a tool for learning other concepts during toddlerhood. (For instance, we have toddler classes that incorporate signs with other lessons such as “self-control” and “cooperation.”)

Me: How did the program work with your children?

Elizabeth: I used the Baby Signs Program with all three of my boys with great success. They all signed differently and taught me a lot about the benefits of using Sign Language with your baby.

My first child was a very laid back baby and was just kind of happy with whatever, so he would only sign for things he really needed. He was talking well by 18 months. Now in second grade he is in advanced reading, spelling and math classes.

My second was a very “opinionated” child. He had a lot to say about what he wanted and how he wanted it. He was my best signer. By 12 months he was signing sentences like “More cookie please” (a favorite sentence of his). He started talking more than signing around the age of two. Having so many signs really helped us understand all the “toddler babble” and repeat back the correct words to him. He’s a very bright little guy.

My youngest was somewhere in the middle. We started a little later with him (at about 12 months), but he picked it up right away. Out of all three boys, my youngest helped me realize the most what a treat it is to be let into their little world. Early, he loved telling us about what he saw or heard using his signs. Now at two years old, he no longer uses signs to communicate, but he loves to practice them just for fun. His communication skills and letter/number recognition are well above normal for his age.

Me: Is there an optimal age to begin learning and is there an age that’s too late?

Elizabeth: You can start signing from birth, but generally anywhere between 6 months and 18 months is a good time to start. Most babies sign back (depending on when you start) between 8-12 months. I don’t think it’s ever too late to start. Even for a toddler that’s talking, it’s a fun way to learn new things and helps create a love of learning.

Me: Can you describe your blog for my readers?

Elizabeth: My blog, like me, is a little bit of everything. I talk about baby sign language, potty training, child development, working at home, raising my boys and many other things.

Me again: Just wanted to mention that last week she had the cutest list of things to do with plastic Easter eggs now that Easter is over!

Me: Is there anything else you’d like to let readers know?

Elizabeth: I’d love to offer your readers a free Baby Signs DVD Dictionary ($19.99 value) with their first order from me. Contact PDXBabySigns@gmail.com with your order to get your free DVD. Orders MUST be placed through me directly to get the free DVD. I only have a limited supply; this deal is while supplies last!

As well as being an Instructor for Baby Signs, I work in recruitment as well. We are looking for qualified instructors worldwide. If you would like to teach Baby Signs classes in your community please watch this video and email me at Elizabeth@babysigns.com for an application.

There you have it. My boys are beyond this age, but I thought this was so interesting.

Be sure to visit Elizabeth’s blog and say hello.