Tuesday February 15, 2010

My baby enters his last teenage year today.

I texted him a Happy Birthday message early this morning, standing next to the couch that I practically lived on after his emergency c-section.

He was fine, I was fine, but I was bluer after him than I had been with any of the other boys. Part of it was the fact that this was the end of the line. I couldn’t help lamenting that I wouldn’t do this again.

It didn’t last long, but I do remember the desperate feeling of not being able to pull myself out. I remember my mother’s sage advice: Honey, you have to enjoy today, right now, with this little one. Don’t miss this time with him.

And I remember asking my husband to ask one of our pastor friends to pray for me. When I relive that moment, I can hear the plea in my voice: Tell Eric to pray for me – really pray for me, okay?

I don’t remember an “aha” moment or anything. I can’t recall suddenly waking up with a smile on my face. But ever-so-gradually, my spirit awakened.

A lot of life has been like that for me, looking back. It hasn’t been filled with marching bands and lightning strikes, but warmth and a steady faithfulness.

I read this again this morning, and it really resonated in my spirit:

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22,23)

When I think of my last teenager in his last adolescent year, I get a lump in my throat. But then I remember – His mercies are new every morning. And He is faithful.

P.S. Happy birthday, boy!

Linking up today with Jen.

How about you? How has His faithfulness helped you along?


Victoria said...

I feel your sadness and happiness all at the same time. I had some moments like this yesterday and somehow I don't think it gets any easier. Happy birthday to your baby and I hope it's a good day for you too!

Rachy said...

I loved the phrase "warm and steady faithfulness" This is a such a sweet post. Happy birthday to your boy!

Unknown said...

This is such a beautiful post - such a testimony that when we are empty, He is able to fill us up again.

So glad you linked this up!

Anonymous said...

Oh, how well I remember the bittersweet memory of my last born in his last teenage year. He is a birthday boy this month too, although he is a grown man, out on his own in another state with a great career and a strong faith. It's so hard to believe my baby son is soon turning 23! Thanks for the lovely thoughts today -- morning by morning new mercies we see from our great and faithful God.

Amy Sullivan said...

Awww. Such a sweet picure! Is that your hand and him?

Karen said...

Awww, Happy Birthday to your boy/man! I know the feeling.

Kim Turnage said...

Indeed...we are not consumed...except by more love.

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