Your Compliant Child

Wednesday April 27, 2011


Do you have a compliant child?

You know, the one who says, “Okay, Mom.” Oh, he has his occasional fits and tantrums, but on the average, this one is pretty obedient, conforming.

The easy child. (at least, relatively)

Here’s a hint for dealing with that child: praise him or her.

It’s easy to forget – after all, this is the easy child. There seems to be no need for pats on the back or encouragement toward obedience. So it’s easy to overlook.

But your compliant child needs praise. It’s too easy to overlook that need because he or she is usually conforming. It’s the rascal that needs encouragement for that rare moment of obedience – after all, you want to see it happen again, so you praise him up and down. The one who always obeys sometimes doesn’t hear your “Thanks, honey” or “I like the way you did that” because you expect that of him.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need it. It’s easy, too, for this child to feel unappreciated. And just because a child doesn’t act up doesn’t mean he lacks a need for encouragement.

We forget how different out children are, how diverse their needs are. Once I had the parent of one of my students tell me, “My child thinks you don’t like him.” I was so surprised. He was a great kid – but a quiet one. I spent more time in the classroom with the rascals than I did with the good guy, but he needed some bolstering. I thought he was fine, but I soon learned he needed encouragement, a pat on the back. I took the opportunity to build him up, and I saw the difference immediately.

Listen to yourself today. Be sure you shower encouragement all over the place – even where it seems like it might not be needed.

A little encouragement goes a long way – and it never hurts!


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6 comments:

Ryan and Melanie said...

wow, I needed to read this post today. My oldest really is a compliant child, and so often I take it for granted. I need to praise him today. Thanks for this reminder. And thanks for stopping by my blog. Glad I met you through Jen's blog! :)

Shonya said...

Oh, that's so great! I appreciate this post a great deal. It's always the "squeaky wheel that gets the grease".

I guess when I was in Kindergarten, I came home crying towards the end of the year and told my mom my teacher didn't like me and I didn't want to go back. She talked to the teacher about it. In a nutshell, it was the same story you're saying. I was the firstborn, reading when I started K, and just didn't require a lot of attn, but as a little kid, I just thought she didn't like me! :)

Thanks for the reminder to encourage my children for obeying as expected!

Faith said...

great post! yup, my 2nd (youngest) daughter is my compliant one. And yup..I sometimes forget to praise and encourage her. thanks for the great reminders.

Victoria said...

If only! I tell my husband often that at least while all the other kids are following someone else into trouble, she'll be the one leading them there. And she was such a sweet baby... Anyway, this is a good reminder and I'm going to pass it along to a few friends I think. Have a great week!

Laura@OutnumberedMom said...

Victoria, I was just waiting for someone to reply and say, "Compliant child? I don't have one of those!"

You've just given me an idea for another post! Hope you had a great Easter.

Victoria said...

It could have been worse! I could have said, "Compliant child? You mean they HAVE those???" Or, "Where can I get one?"

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