Wednesday April 16, 2014
What makes a mama lose it?
Blow her stack?
Morph into something even she hates?
Off the top of my head, I’d say:
3. Bickering / sibling rivalry
Yes, all of those are present in a home full of children—and more! And sometimes they can just drive you crazy.
One day I stopped and asked myself, “Why DO those things get to me?”
The answer surprised me—because of expectations.
Today we’ll talk about number one, and then we’ll attack each of other anger triggers, post by post.
Why does the kids’ NOISE get to me?
I have an expectation of quiet because that’s what I like and, let’s face it, what any mama needs once in a while. But how can I reduce the likelihood that that will trigger Mom Angst?
• Allow some noise—maybe even more than you’re comfortable with. Let them get it out. Endure it for a while.
• Institute some quiet time—for everyone. One mom I know calls this “Be Still Time.” It occurs the same time every day. It’s time in a chair with books, and with lots of praise at the end.
• Thank God for, yes, even the noise. Let Him know you’re thankful you have kids who CAN verbalize, kids who are well enough to play loudly. Thank Him that you’re there to hear them. It’s amazing what a little thankfulness will do.
Kids need to blow off steam sometimes and they need to learn the value of being still sometimes. Once they get used to quiet times, they’ll begin to realize that quiet is not the enemy. Give them the chance to look and listen and observe, to read and learn and take things in. Teach them to value times of quiet and they’ll be more likely to go there.
How can that keep me from losing it?
Those moments of calm—islands of quiet—can be something to look forward to. Maybe I can endure the rambunctiousness a bit more, knowing that it’s temporary and I’ll get a dose of quiet later.
And when I ask them to stop and slow down and take the volume down a notch, it won’t seem like a foreign concept to them.
Several of us just answered the question, "How do I stop yelling?" on the MOB Society blog.
And now there's a Facebook group called No More Angry MOB, dedicated to the search for Mom's peace in the midst of childhood chaos. You can find the link on the MOB Society page.
Any ideas, Moms? How do you handle the constant noise of childhood?