Thankful for Friends Who Make Me Think

Wednesday November 17, 2010

Photo credit: Flicker Creative Commons

Come along with me and meet a friend I’m thankful for – one who makes me think. Her name is Amy Sullivan, and her first question sets my mind awhirl. At the top of her blog is the query, “What consumes you?”

Amy asks in her sidebar, “What fills your head when you have a couple minutes of precious silence in the car? What is the first thing you think about in the quiet of the morning? If you are like me, life demands your attention, and the idea of others is often an afterthought. Sick of the me, mine, must- have-mentality, I’ve decided to blog about my family’s journey toward GRACIOUS GIVING.”

See what I mean? She makes you think! And that’s a good thing. Stay a minute and eavesdrop on our conversation, and then read what Amy has written just for outnumbered moms.

Amy, tell us about your family.
I’ve been married to my biggest encourager, travel buddy, and frozen-pizza-devouring husband for twelve years. Together we have two girls who are so sweet their veins actually pulse with honey instead of blood. True fact, sort of.

What’s your passion?
God, giving, and writing. Yes, in that order. Although at times I forget the order and stick one in front of the other, not good.

Why did you begin blogging?
Almost a year ago, I had a post Christmas experience that shook my world, and made me realize how consumed I was with just about everything EXCEPT God and giving. Not knowing what to do with the weight I felt under, I came up with a small way for our family to serve locally. However, when I filled my family in on my grand serving idea, my husband was only mildly interested, and my daughter’s response was “But I don’t even know any poor people!” Life in the Sullivan household needed to change and change in a big way. I knew I wasn’t alone in my struggle to move away from self-centeredness. There had to be other moms who felt that life and material objects were filling the hole that only God was meant to fill. I thought by blogging I could connect with others fighting the battle against consumption, and maybe learn a little about myself along the way. This past May I hit that little “publish post” button for the first time.

When I asked Amy what she’d like to say to moms who visit my blog, this is what she sent me. What a heart!

Two Easy Steps to Growing a Giving Heart

Dear Moms,

I know you are exhausted and worn out from the routine of it all. You may be feeling as if you cannot possibly clean up one more mess, find another lost Polly Pocket shoe, cart a child to practice, or pour out more of yourself.

Your days are filled. Your hands are juggling, and you are tired. You don’t have time for yourself. You certainly don’t have time for others.

The world is telling you to buy more and eat there and have you seen those new shoes? The world is screaming take care of yourself first, make those home improvements, and is that the car you really drive?

You don’t have time to chair that board or start a nonprofit or do all the big ideas that are floating around your head. So instead, you sit and wait for something to fit your schedule or fit your life. You wait for something more convenient.

You wait and you miss out.

But here’s the thing. You don’t have to miss out. You can get involved today.
Right now, in those snowman pajamas without any make-up. Right now, without even leaving the room. Yes, even you can start growing your giving heart.

How?

Step 1: Pray for that cause that spins around your head at night. That’s it. Find your cause (come on now, you know what bothers you - human trafficking, poverty, AIDS, the homeless…). Now pray for that ONE cause.

Step 2: Repeat step one daily.

See, giving takes on many forms, but the first step to meaningful giving is always prayer, and prayer is something you can start right now.

So get to it. Start growing that giving heart of yours.

Go visit Amy! As you cultivate gratitude this November, you’re preparing the ground for a giving crop. Once we begin to realize our blessings, our hearts warm to sharing them with others.

What one thing can you – and your family – do to grow a giving heart?

My Kid Could Be a Model: Gratitude Checkup #6

Monday November 15, 2010

How many moms have said – or thought – that?

Well, we did it. We live a stone’s throw from Miami, and a lot goes on there. When the boys were little, a fashion merchandiser we know told me she thought the boys had modeling potential.

We had a friend whose mom was an agent, so off we went to visit her. Four redheaded, vivacious boys aren’t easy to forget, and she loved them. She suggested a photographer and we got comps made for the boys.

All in all, it was a great experience for the boys. You hope for the Pampers commercial that pays for college…but that didn’t happen. They probably paid for the cost of their photo comps, gas and tolls, and the donuts treats that followed our outings.

Two of them were in the Dunkin Donuts calendar. Remember the Donut Man – “It’s time to make the donuts”? They posed with him, and he was very sweet. All four were in catalogues and print ads, the oldest had a small part in a movie, and all of the boys were in one commercial together. Nobody got rich. Our little movie actor probably made the most. It went into his savings and was used toward his first car.

But it was a great experience for them.

We went to a concert in Miami last week, and as we drove I thought to myself, “I was crazy to haul four boys down here in a minivan, looking for shoots, trying to find parking, keeping them all together and reasonably happy…” But they learned a lot from the experience. Here are a few lessons:

1. I’m not always chosen. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me – people are just looking for something different sometimes.

2. Sometimes you have to wait...and wait, and wait. And occupy yourself while you're waiting.

3. Advertising isn’t real; it’s fake. It’s a show. (Valuable lessons as they grew up as little consumers.)

4. It takes all types of people to make up a world. And some are sweet and kind and some are not.

5. The beautiful people on the outside are not always beautiful on the inside. What’s in the heart is what comes out. "For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." (Luke 6:45)

6. It’s what’s inside that’s really important.

Of course, they only learned these lessons as we pointed them out and reinforced them.

But I’m glad we had the opportunity to use those teachable moments. As I remembered those days, I realized I was thankful for that experience for the boys.

One more thing to be grateful for in this month of gratitude. Those days were challenging, but fun. They learned, they grew. I’m glad we had that experience.

What's an experience you’re glad your kids had? An incident you were able to use as a teachable moment?

Thankful Weekend #2

Saturday November 13, 2010


I keep cultivating that attitude of gratitude, and you know what? It’s showing fruit.

Ten things I’m thankful for this week:

1. An awesome date night last Sunday with my dear hubby. We saw an incredible concert and had dinner out. Lots of fun.

2. The love of dear friends – those with skin on and virtual ones. I’m constantly feeling their love and support.

3. The approaching holidays! I look forward to cooking and a house full of boys!

4. Meeting some sweet moms face-to-face. Today, I sold my book at a Christmas Boutique and I connected with some great moms.

5. Edy’s Peppermint Ice Cream topped with chocolate syrup. Mmmm….A bloggy friend put me onto the peppermint ice cream and I added that touch of chocolate.

6. Boys who are anxious to get home for the holidays. I love that they’re looking forward to it!

7. Friends for my mom. She underwent some minor outpatient surgery this week, and I’m states away. I’m so thankful she has great friends and neighbors who love to help.

8. My boys! In talking to moms today, we commiserated about how hard being a boy mom is. But I still wouldn’t have had it any other way. I’m so thankful for them – they’re my “material”!

9. My writer friends. I write with a dear bunch here, the Kindred Heart Writers, and they’re my buddies, my editors, and my prayer support. Also, this weekend, a local author shared his spot with me at the event in #4 and wouldn’t let me share the cost. A blessing.

10. So much I want to say and I’m on #10! The beauty of Scripture, the poetry of the language…it bolsters my spirit and makes me feel as if He has my heart in His hands.

What about you? Leave a comment and let us know what you’re thankful for.

Linking up with Thankful Thursdays Top Ten – even though it’s Saturday! Go visit Curious Georgi!

Veterans and The Women Who Love Them: Gratitude Checkup #5

Thursday November 11, 2010

Veteran's Day - a day to remember those who serve and have served. But today, in my ever-present state of gratefulness, I'm thankful not only to those who served but those who love and have loved from afar.

I'm thinking of the women in our soldiers' lives -- the moms, the wives. I find that I too often forget their sacrifices and struggles.

A dear friend of mine recounted a family outing with her veteran son and his young family a couple of weeks ago, and it really got me thinking. They were all having a great time...but Mom glimpsed at her son and noticed his heart was heavy, his steps slow.

He stopped to rest and she fell back to see if he was all right. He was one of the lucky ones to return from war. After surgeries and recuperation, he seems great. But he still suffers physical weakness at times when old injuries are pushed to their limit. And his heart? Full of love for his family, his Creator, and his country, it still struggles a bit at times to keep pace with life around him.

Crowds, noises encroach on him and memories invade. Life is changed after war. It's never quite the same.

Moms and wives of our soldiers deal with lasting wounds every day. I'm blessed to know my friend, who shares her struggles. I'm privileged to think of her, pray for her.

Thank a soldier or two today.
And remember the women in their lives.

Sounds of November: Gratitude Checkup #4

Wednesday November 10, 2010

As we rush through life, we often take the valuable for granted. All too often, appreciation crops up only when we sense something slipping away.

As September nears, we long for the lazy summer days.
When the toddler walks, we miss those calmer, quieter days.
When the teen begins to drive, we wish we could put him on his bike again.

Most of us are blessed enough to have great command of all five of our senses, so it’s easy to forget what a miracle sight is or the blessing of sound, taste, smell, and touch.

With gratitude ever on my mind this month, I’ve taken time to ponder the blessing of sound.

Here are some of my favorites.

Silence at naptime
Little giggles
Childhood songs

Leaves crunching underfoot
Waves lapping up on shore
“I love you, Mom” – across the phone lines

So, still yourself. Close your eyes. Listen. Remember.

What are some of your favorite sounds – big or little, past or present?

Simpler Times: Gratitude Checkup #3

Monday November 8, 2010


We drove for forty-five minutes to get there. The boys piled from the van, armed with books, magazines, games, and fishing gear.

“First dibs on the hammock,” cried one.

“I get it next,” another cried.

One son turned to another. “Come on. Let’s get the kayaks out.”

We couldn’t help but smile. Technology left behind, the boys soaked in the simpler life. And it lasted all day! Not once did we hear, “I can’t believe there’s no TV” or “No signal up here?”

Every year when we stay with family in New York state, a half hour from the big city, we take a day to visit the bungalow. Perched on a reservoir, it’s an oasis in the middle of a very busy, very connected area. At the relatives’ house, they have cell phones and a game system, but the unconnected, technology-free bungalow always beckons. So we set off on the drive to escape the connectedness of life. And something wonderful happens.

We find ourselves more connected than ever before. To nature. To the Creator. To each other.

In keeping with my theme this month, I’m thankful for those memories of a simpler time. Those recollections endure for all of us, and they lure us back. As I sit here in my living room and remember the joy of those simple moments, I can turn off the television. I can back away from the computer. I can take a walk.

As I recall the blessing of simple times, I remember how to be more connected than ever to what really matters.

What about you? Is there a simple time you look forward to, a time you're thankful for -- one that anchors you and reminds you to simplify?

Linking up today with High Calling Blogs.

A Thankful Weekend

Saturday November 6, 2010


How can I pass up an opportunity to write about thankfulness?

It’s so funny – ever since I decided to make this my theme for the month, it’s been ever on my mind.

I sit at a stoplight and think of what I’m thankful for. What a great way to occupy your thoughts – with lists of the good stuff! I love it.

And I do think you have to cultivate that attitude of gratitude. After all, these things have been here all along, but because I’m tending that garden of thanks, its fruit is ever present in my mind.

What about your garden – and your family’s? Are you cultivating thankfulness?

As I’ve pondered my blessings this week, I’ve noticed:

1. My kids – not my own (that’s another blessing), my kids at school. I do love them. Yes, they drive me crazy sometimes, but what a privilege to touch young minds and hearts.

2. Words. I’ve loved them as long as I can remember! Reading reminds me of that.

3. My Creator. This week I’ve been struck by how grateful I am to know the Author of my blessings.

4. Trust. My oldest has an exciting weekend ahead that involves a job prospect. I love that we can trust that no matter what, One greater than us is in control. We can trust that every experience is a step in the journey, and He holds our hand along the way.

5. The joy of eating. That may sound strange, but I’ve had a temporary crown this week which has reminded me that it’s so much fun to eat without one!

6. The ups and downs of life. The ups are great (of course), but the downs have their place. Without rain, how would we see the rainbow?

7. The love of a parent. I met with parents this week in an activity connected to school, and I saw love in their faces – concern for their teens, even anxiety. But the love shone through. I reminded them to always share that love, even if it seems their teens don’t want to hear it.

8. Anticipation. That’s a word I use a lot lately. I’m looking forward these days, not back. And I’m thankful for that perspective.

9. The warm spot by my husband’s side. How I love curling up by him on the couch and sharing an evening!

10. The attitude of gratitude. I’m thankful for November in a way I haven’t really experienced before – all because I’m trying to cultivate thankfulness. So far, the fruit is awesome.

I thought, “Should I post today? No one reads on Saturday.” But you know what? It’s been a great exercise in thankfulness for me!

What about you? When you look around with your grateful glasses on, what do you see?

Linking up with Thankful Thursdays Top Ten – even though it’s Saturday. Go visit Curious Georgi.

A Thank You Note: Gratitude Checkup #2

Wednesday November 3, 2010

Since gratitude is ever on my mind this month, I decided to pen a few thank you notes.

Thank you, my nearest and dearest – my sweet husband. He loves me, humors me, supports me, makes me laugh, makes me think.

Thank you, my boys, for making me laugh, keeping me young, wearing me out at times, keeping me honest and driving me to look above for strength and wisdom, for being my material, for ever making me proud, and for so many, many wonderful memories.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for the love and encouragement you always lavished on me. And Mom, for continuing to be the model of a strong, spiritual woman after Dad went home to heaven.

Thank you, friends – near and far, hugged and only virtually hugged – for being there. For listening, caring, sharing and helping me along my journey.

Thank you, Bestower of Blessings, for all of this.

For without You, what would my life be?

Are there a few Thank You notes you need to pen today?

Making Me Grateful

Tuesday November 2, 2010

What’s God doing in my life these days? He’s making me grateful.

I’m taking time this month to concentrate on thankfulness – a natural for November.

Here are a few things I’m grateful for today.

When I got to school this morning, a colleague had emailed me to say that she was praying for one of my classes today. I love this class, but they’re a handful. Rather exhausting. I’m thankful for insightful colleagues – she knew I needed prayer today.

With my tongue planted firmly in cheek, I have to say I am SO glad elections have taken place and the ads will end. Honestly, I’m awed by the privilege of standing in line before the sun peeks out with a cross-section of our country, waiting to cast our votes.

I got an encouraging call from my oldest son today. He’s out there promoting my book, giving copies to the influencers he has contact with. He called, excited about someone else’s excitement over my book. Very neat.

I could go on and on. There’s so much to be thankful for, just in this one day.

But most of all – I’m thankful for grace. For One who loves me more than any other. Who has my times in His hands.

I’m thankful that He’s working in my life…making me grateful.

Is there something you're thankful for today?

Linking up today with Finding Heaven. Go see!

Gratitude Checkup #1: A Family Gratitude Journal

Monday November 1, 2010

Are you thankful? This is the month for it, you know.

Can you increase your gratitude – and your family’s?

I’d say definitely. We’re thankful when we realize and appreciate what we have. And too often, we’re just too busy or too hassled to contemplate what we have and see the blessings there.

So take time this month to contemplate what you have and encourage your family to do the same.

Consider a Gratitude Journal. It can be a pretty journal that you buy or fashion, or it can simply be a notebook. Label it and put it on the kitchen table with some pens and crayons. Encourage everyone to contribute to the journal when they’re struck by something they’re thankful for – big or small.

If you have a hard time getting started, you can label a few pages to get things going. Here are some ideas:

Use the alphabet. Put an A on one line and skip a few, then a B on one, etc. List A’s and B’s you’re thankful for, continuing through the alphabet. This is a great activity for your young readers.

Use pictures – photos, cut outs, or child-created drawings. Have a picture of something you’re thankful for? Tape it in. Let your children find pictures from magazines of things they’re thankful for, and add those. Encourage them, though, to see beyond "stuff." Their pictures can be symbolic -- a heart for love, a smiling face for jokes or laughter. You or your teens or your little ones may want to get artistic in the journal – go ahead!

Label pages with the five senses. On one page, write “I’m thankful for the things I see…” and leave space for family entries. On another, “I’m thankful for the things I hear…” Don’t forget smell, touch, and feel.

Highlight the big and the little. Make an “I’m Thankful for the Little Things” page and an “I’m Thankful for the Big Things” page.

Encourage thoughtfulness. Especially if you have older children, make an “I’m Thankful for the Gratitude Journal Because…” page. It’s a great place to list what you learned through the Gratitude Journal.

Support thankful actions. Title one page "Ways to Show My Thankfulness." Entries can be as simple as saying thank you for something specific to writing a thank you note to someone.

Be sure you date the journal. It’ll be great to look back upon one day.

That’s my first idea for encouraging thankfulness in your family. You’ll hear more ideas throughout the month.

Have you ever used November to encourage your family’s gratitude? What worked for you?

Interested in a giveaway for my book? See Sunday's post below.