Three Questions

Wednesday February 13, 2013

Do you ever stop and ask yourself if you should repeat something – or even say something? (Perhaps post something…)

Yeah, that’s the problem. Too few of us do.

In the heat of the moment, in a family conversation that has just flared into a disagreement, it’s all too easy to let something hurtful fly. When my boys were young, I happened upon a quote by Amy Carmichael, missionary to India, in which she referenced three helpful questions:

·         Is it kind?

·         Is it true?

·         Is it necessary?

Think about it. If it doesn’t pass those tests, why bother? And those questions work just as well for adults as kids because … well, sometimes we adults go there, too, when we’re angry or frustrated or just fed up.

But every day I have a choice to make.

Balcony or basement?

Will my response lift someone up or pull them down?

So many times a day, a look, a smile or frown, or an answer empowers me. I often don’t even realize that what I say and do will affect those around me. Oh, I get the big stuff – the compliment, the insult, the sarcasm.

But the offhand response – or the lack of it – can carry meaning, too.

King Solomon wrote, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

And all too often, I’m not on the balcony or in the basement, I’m just camping out on the landing. By myself, probably looking in the mirror, thinking about me.

That’s when I let the opportunity to praise someone pass me by.

Take an extra second today and consider your response. Reflect on those three questions. Can you just smile sweetly and not respond if it’s not necessary or kind? Can you give the grumpy cashier a smile or offer to bag those groceries yourself? Can you thank your child for doing what he’s supposed to do? There’s nothing wrong with expressing gratefulness for others’ faithfulness.

"Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Proverbs 6:24)

So join me as I try to think before I speak, seasoning our family life with sweet words.

 Linking up today with Beth from Messy Marriage for Wedded Wednesday.

Photo credit

Only Words

Saturday September 8, 2012


Only words? They're much, much more than "only."

Linking up today with Jenny Matlock for Saturday Centus, where the prompt is "It's only words, and words are all I have..."

Here's my offering:

It’s only words, and words are all I have…
A balm they are, oft to the soul a salve.

Words uplift and plead and seek and pray.
Amidst the dark, they lead to light and day.

An offering mere, a trifle it does seem
How can they help to ease today’s dire dream?

The love they lend, the kindness that they share
Brings healing, light, and wholeness laced with care.

Remembered Words: A Simple Pleasure

Thursday July 21, 2011


As a mom, you dispense advise, comforting words, words that you hope are wise. It always nice to hear them echoed.

One of my sons shared yesterday that he had shared one of my "momisms" with someone close to him. "Like my mom says," he shared, "don't borrow trouble."

I laughed when he told me. "Well, it's true!" I reminded him. "Today has enough trouble of its own. No need to borrow from tomorrow. Face that one when it happens."

The neat thing about it is this "momism" came from my mom, and likely hers before her.

A sweet, simple pleasure. Remembered words, passed down over the generations.


Linking up today with Dayle for Simple Pleasures.

Balcony or Basement?

Tuesday May 24, 2011


I interact with countless people everyday. Students, parents, colleagues, my own children, my husband, the cashier in the grocery store.

And everyday I have a choice to make.

Balcony or basement?

Will my response lift someone up or pull them down?

So many times a day, a look, a smile or frown, or an answer empowers me. I often don’t even realize that what I say and do will affect those around me. Oh, I get the big stuff – the compliment, the insult, the sarcasm.

But the offhand response – or the lack of it – can carry meaning, too. King Solomon wrote, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

And all too often, I’m not on the balcony or in the basement, I’m just camping out on the landing. By myself, probably looking in the mirror, thinking about me.

That’s when I let the opportunity to praise someone pass me by. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the compliant child. That’s the pleaser, the one you expect to do well and to expend the extra effort. And he doesn’t need your praise to do that, either, so you usually don’t lavish him with it. But he needs to hear he’s appreciated and of value, too. Because he is; but we just don’t say it because we think he’s okay without it.

Take an extra second today and consider your response. Can you give the grumpy cashier a smile or offer to bag those groceries yourself? Can you thank your child for doing what he’s supposed to do? There’s nothing wrong with expressing gratefulness for others’ faithfulness.

"Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Proverbs 6:24)

So join me as I step off the landing. I have a bit of climbing to do. But my steps will be seasoned with sweet words.

Linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven Today for Soli deo Gloria. Click on over and come along with us!

And, before you go -- here's a real opportunity to put hands and feet to those words today. Bigger Picture Blogs has put together Help 4 Joplin, an organization that's hosting an online auction to raise funds for The Salvation Army in Joplin, Missouri. Items for the auction have been donated by a number of businesses, and all proceeds from the auction will directly benefit relief efforts in Joplin. There's more information here about how you can help spread the word, too.



Let's step off the landing together and give someone a hand up -- through words and actions.