Book Sets Off a Firestorm (in my family, that is)

Wednesday September 8, 2010

My family has been so supportive and encouraging throughout this whole process. No one in the family “proofed” however, so the contents of the book are news to most of them.

Several of my sons are reading the book now, a chapter now and then in the middle of college and other things. Apparently my oldest read chapter 2 the other day – “The Magnet Syndrome (aka Sibling Rivalry)”.

One of my hints for equalizing sibling rivalry is to give everyone a chance to lead at something. You can replace sibling rivalry with a sense of leadership and accomplishment when everyone has a chance to lead. Even if the basketball goal is too high for the youngest, find something he excels at and get everyone involved.

In chapter 2, I make the statement, “To this day, our youngest has a Monopoly strategy that puts the others under the table. They complain, but it’s great to see him beat the brother who’s nine years older!”

Out of the blue the other day, I got a text from the brother who’s nine years older. It read simply:

Page 37. He doesn’t have a “strategy” – it’s called cheating. You need to call a spade a spade, Mom. :-)

I had to laugh. Especially since this is rooted in the topic of the very chapter he was reading about – sibling rivalry!

It wasn’t really a firestorm ... more like a tempest in a teapot, but it made me laugh!

The Magnet Syndrome (aka Sibling Rivalry): Welcome to My Book

Wednesday July 28, 2010

I have to give my husband credit for the title of my second chapter – The Magnet Syndrome (aka Sibling Rivalry).

One day we sat and watched as our four boys’ version of WWF broke out in the family room. Just before we sprang to action, my husband said, “They’re like magnets. They push, they pull, they shove, they hang on.”

Have you ever held a pair of magnets close together, then turned them over and tried the same thing? They attract, they repel. And that’s what happens with multiple boys. Hands on – hands off. They hang on, they push, they wrestle. Just like a couple of magnets.

Yes, I know – girls touch, too. But it’s different. I’m not saying they can’t get physical, but I’d venture to say nothing tops the physicality of two or three or four boys. And sibling rivalry is often wrapped up in the magnet syndrome. Sibling rivalry, the bane of mothers of boys and girls alike.

How to overcome it? First, realize it’s never totally conquered. Famous pediatrician Berry Brazelton said, “You can’t expect the conflict to go away. Ever.” So we have to learn how to deal with it.

This chapter discusses the roots of sibling rivalry and gives plenty of practical suggestions for all ages, all genders. Since we can’t totally avoid it, we moms may as well use it to our advantage. This chapter reveals how teachable sibling moments can teach conflict resolution and build the family team.

This chapter introduces what I call the “boys plus” household – the family that has a girl or two among the boys. The boys plus mom will find information and suggestions tailored to her situation. There’s no magic bullet, but there’s a smorgasbord of suggestions to choose from. Use what works!

Curious about chapter three? Next Wednesday I’ll sample Intentional Parenting. Don’t let parenting just happen – be intentional. Come back next Wednesday to get a preview.